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First Solo Travel Trip: What Lisbon Taught Me About Being Alone

What a First Solo Travel Trip Actually Teaches You A first solo travel trip teaches you how to sit with your own company. That is the short...

What a First Solo Travel Trip Actually Teaches You

A first solo travel trip teaches you how to sit with your own company. That is the short answer. The longer answer is what I want to tell you about, because nobody really warned me about how loud my own thoughts would get once I removed everyone else from the room.

I went to Lisbon for nine days in October. I went alone, not because I wanted to, but because my friend canceled and I had already paid for the Airbnb in Alfama. By day four I was crying into a torrada at a café off Rua dos Bacalhoeiros, and not in a sad way. In a finally way.

This is what that first solo travel trip taught me, and what I wish someone had said to me before I boarded the plane.

. . .

Key Takeaways

  • A first solo travel trip will feel awkward for the first 48 to 72 hours, and that is normal
  • Lisbon is one of the safest, most walkable cities in Europe for solo female travel
  • The point is not to be busy. The point is to get bored enough to hear yourself again
  • Pack lighter than you think and book a place with a view from the bed
  • Coming home feels like adjusting the focus on a lens you forgot was blurry

. . .

Day One Was the Hardest, and That Is Not a Failure

I kept reaching for my phone the whole first day. Not to scroll. To send something. A photo of the orange tiled rooftops. A voice note about how the espresso costs less than a bottle of water. Anything to make the moment feel witnessed by somebody else.

Nobody replied right away. The time difference between Lisbon and the US East Coast is six hours, and most of my people were asleep when I was eating dinner. So I would take a picture, draft a message, then put my phone away. The whole time I was just standing in front of something pretty, mostly thinking about how to describe it later instead of looking at it now.

This is the trap. You bring your audience with you in your pocket and you keep performing for them even when you flew across the ocean to get away from the noise.

It took three days to stop doing that. Three full days of catching myself reaching for the camera before reaching for the experience. If your first solo travel trip starts that way, you are not doing it wrong. You are detoxing.

. . .

The Lisbon Café Where Everything Cracked Open for My First Solo Travel Trip

By day four I had a routine. Coffee at the same little café off Rua dos Bacalhoeiros, near the Sé Cathedral. The owner stopped asking what I wanted by Wednesday. Bica and a torrada. I would sit at the same table by the window with a notebook and watch the morning happen.

That café was where it cracked open for me.

I was eating the toast with butter so good it should be illegal, and I realized I had not had a single thought that day that was performed for someone else. Not a caption. Not a story I was building for the group chat. Just my actual thoughts, in my own voice, about my own life.

I started crying into my coffee. Quietly, like a normal person. The owner pretended not to notice. The cat that lived in the café walked over my foot and then walked away.

I had not heard myself think in years.

That moment is what a first solo travel trip is actually for. Not the photos. Not the croissants. Not even the freedom. The quiet.

First solo travel trip morning at a Lisbon café

. . .

Why Lisbon Is a Great Choice for Solo Travel

A few practical things, since I want this to be useful and not just feelings.

Lisbon ranks consistently as one of the safest cities in Europe for solo travelers, and for solo female travel especially the city felt walkable, calm, and respectful. The neighborhoods I stayed in and visited the most were Alfama, Baixa, and Príncipe Real. Public transport is cheap. The metro is clean. Ubers and Bolts work everywhere.

The food culture is built for one. You can sit at a counter at a tasca, order a glass of vinho verde and a plate of bacalhau, and nobody will look at you sideways. Cafés are not loud. People bring books to lunch. You blend in.

The flight time from most US cities is manageable, six to eight hours from the East Coast. The currency is the euro. English is widely spoken in tourist areas, but a few Portuguese phrases (obrigada, bom dia, com licença) go a long way.

If you have never done a first solo travel trip and you want one that feels gentle, Lisbon is gentle.

. . .

What I Wish I Had Packed (and What I Overpacked)

I overpacked clothes. I underpacked everything else.

What I actually used: one pair of broken in walking shoes (the cobblestones are no joke), a crossbody bag with a zip, sunscreen, a small notebook, a refillable water bottle, and an unlocked phone with a Holafly eSIM for data.

What I should have left at home: half my wardrobe, my laptop (I did not open it once), and my hair tools. The Lisbon humidity does what it wants and there is no fighting it.

What I wish I had brought: a real journal, not the Notes app. There is something about writing by hand on a first solo travel trip that I cannot explain except to say it works.

. . .

The Original Version of You Is Quieter Than You Remember

This is the part of solo travel nobody really tells you about. You go alone and at first you panic a little, because you have spent so long being a version of yourself that performs for other people that you forgot there was an original underneath.

The original is quieter than you remember. She does not have hot takes. She is more curious than impressive. She likes weird things and she does not feel the need to defend them.

She also gets tired earlier than you would expect. So you let her go to bed at 9pm in your Alfama apartment with the tiled balcony, and you do not feel bad about it.

If you want a slower take on this idea, you might like my piece on why getting a little lost is the whole point, which I wrote on a different trip but the lesson rhymes.

Solo travel feels gif

. . .

What Coming Home Felt Like After My First Solo Travel Trip

The other thing that surprised me was how small my life felt when I got home, in the best way. Not small as in less. Small as in clearer. Like someone had finally adjusted the focus on a lens.

My apartment looked like mine again. My phone looked like a tool again. Conversations felt different too. I noticed how often I was answering questions before they were finished. How often I was telling stories I had told before because I knew they would land. I started letting silences happen instead of filling them.

That all came from sitting alone in a café in Lisbon. From doing nothing. From being so bored on day two that I read the back of the sugar packet twice.

If you want more on the post trip clarity feeling, I wrote about what slow travel actually does to you in an earlier post. Same idea, different city.

. . .

You Do Not Need to Be Brave. You Just Need to Go.

If you have been thinking about a first solo travel trip and waiting for it to feel safe, I want to tell you something. It will not feel safe. It will feel like jumping off a small cliff into water that is colder than you thought. And then you surface and realize you are still here and the water is fine and actually you are smiling.

The trip is the small cliff. The fine part comes after.

You do not need to be brave. You just need to go.

. . .

FAQ About Your First Solo Travel Trip

Is Lisbon a good city for a first solo travel trip?
Yes. Lisbon is one of the safest, most affordable, and most walkable capitals in Western Europe. The food culture is comfortable for solo diners, the public transport is reliable, and the neighborhoods like Alfama, Baixa, and Príncipe Real are easy to navigate alone. It is one of the most recommended starting points for solo female travel.

How long should a first solo travel trip be?
Seven to ten days is the sweet spot. Less than five and you do not give yourself enough time to settle into the quiet. More than two weeks and you can start to feel restless without a built in companion. Nine days worked well for me.

Will I feel lonely on my first solo travel trip?
Probably for the first day or two. After that something shifts. The loneliness becomes solitude, which is a completely different feeling. The trick is to not fill every silence with a phone call back home in the first 48 hours. Let the quiet land.

What should I pack for a first solo trip to Lisbon?
Comfortable walking shoes for cobblestones, a crossbody bag that zips, a small notebook, sunscreen, an unlocked phone with an eSIM, and far fewer outfits than you think. Lay out everything you want to pack and then take half away.

Is solo female travel safe in Lisbon?
Yes, in general. Lisbon ranks well on safety indexes for solo female travelers. Standard precautions apply (watch for pickpockets in tourist areas, share your location with someone back home, avoid empty streets late at night), but the city itself is calm and respectful.

. . .

I came back from Lisbon eight pounds heavier from the bread and eight years lighter from whatever I had been carrying. I do not know exactly what I left there. Some version of me that needed to be needed all the time, maybe. Some version that thought being alone meant being lonely.

She is still there if she wants her old job back. I am not calling.

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